On one occasion, I witnessed an argument between my Singaporean Chinese neighbour, Aunt Jenny, and a non-local as well as non-Chinese neighbour who just moved into the unit next to Aunt Jenny’s a few weeks ago.
Aunt Jenny was burning incense paper in a metal container at the corridor like she always does every first and fifteenth day of the lunar month. The new neighbour who looked displeased reflected to Aunt Jenny that the smoke produced from the burning was causing her great irritation. In reply, Aunt Jenny suggested closing her door and windows so the smoke would not enter the house. But the new neighbour seemed dissatisfied. She started raising her voice and requested for Aunt Jenny to stop the burning immediately. Upon hearing this, Aunt Jenny became frustrated and scolded her before shooing her away. The new neighbour’s face turned even darker. She stormed back to her unit and slammed the door shut.
I could understand Aunt Jenny’s mentality since I have relatives who are devout followers of Taoism like her. Burning of incense paper is an action of worship to pray for the family’s well-being and is viewed as highly respectful. The new neighbour might be unaware of this significance to Aunt Jenny. Even though she has her reason for stopping Aunt Jenny from burning incense paper, Aunt Jenny could be unhappy that she interfered with her worshipping and see it as a form of great disrespect.
If there had been a greater understanding between the different cultures, and the parties compromised and spared a thought for each other, the situation might not have turned so ugly in the end.
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Hi Chai Yee,
ReplyDeleteI feel that this conflict which had arose due to cultural insensitivity could have been avoided if Aunt Jenny's neighbour had been respectful and sensitive towards other cultures' practices. Showing understanding and being tolerant towards other culture's practices is important for maintaining the peace and harmony between various cultural groups.
In addition, I believe that respect works in a mutual way. If we want others to respect our culture, we should learn to respect others' culture.
I hope Aunt Jenny's neighbour would understand this and learn to build good rapport with Aunt Jenny. Aa a saying goes " “a good neighbour surpasses a long-distance relative”".
Regards,
Xin Wei
Hi Chai Yee,
ReplyDeleteI have heard about this kind of argument before and I am aware how ugly it can get. This type of conflict is especially hard to resolve as it involves religion. As we live in a muti-religious society, it is inevitable that there are conflicts such as these.
I agree with Xin Wei that Aunty Jenny's neighbour should have been more sensitive to Aunty Jenny's religious practices. However, Aunty Jenny could also be a little compromising by perhaps burning the incense a little farther from her neighbours house so as to reduce the amount of smoke entering her neighbour's house. It would also helped if she had chosen not to react to her neighbour's anger as it is a fact that Aunty Jenny's action has caused her problems. She could perhaps apologize and ask for her understanding. This could have prevented things from turning ugly.
Regards,
Zhengyang.
Greetings Chai Yee,
ReplyDeleteIt's really sad that the incident had to turn sour over differences in belief and lack of understanding, respect and sensitivity towards other people's culture and way of living.
In the case for Aunty Jenny and her neighbour, i personally believe things would work out well if there's a mutual respect and understanding between the two parties. If i were in her shoes, i would most probably approach the new neighbour and explain to her the reasons behind her actions of burning incense paper. By invoking empathy and a common understanding with her neighbour in a polite way, it is possible for her to still practise what she believes in without provoking or annoying her neighbours. Perhaps, Aunty Jenny could inform her neighbour that on a certain date, she would need to burn incense paper and advise them to close their windows/doors so as to minimize any kind of discomfort on the neighbour's side. It takes two hands to clap and in this case, there is a need for mutual understanding and positive intercultural communication. This way, it can help to preserve mutual respect and minimises antagonism between the two parties.
Cheers,
Ariff
Hi Xin Wei, Zhengyang and Ariff,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments! Yes I totally agree with you all that understanding and compromising are two essential aspects in intercultural relations. Only with these and respect for each other's cultures can people of different ethnicity live together harmoniously.
However, it is a pity that some of us in this multi-racial Singapore are still oblivious to such intercultural issues. Having celebrated Racial Harmony Day for decades, why are we still being culturally insensitive? Have we not opened up enough to accommodate the different cultures and why? Seriously, I am not sure of it myself. Perhaps we will have to come up with other ways of bridging our intercultural relations through more effective communication.
Cheers,
Chai Yee